Never Play Leapfrog With A Unicorn.

The Odds Against There Being A Bomb On A Plane Are A Million To One, And Against Two Bombs A Million Times A Million To One. Next Time You Fly, Cut The Odds And Take A Bomb.

I'm Not Against Half Naked Girls - Not As Often As I'd Like To Be.

Why Would I Make One Woman So Miserable When I Can Make So Many Women Very Happy?

Those Hot Pants Of Hers Were So Damned Tight, I Could Hardly Breathe.

Before I Met Her, I Drank And Swore Without Reason... Now I Have A Reason.