Never Go To Bed Mad. Stay Up

I Always Wondered How I Could Tell When The Right One Came Along - But It Was Easy. He Was The Only One That Came Along.

When I Go To Bed At Night, I've Got So Much Grease On My Body I Wear Snow Chains To Hold Up My Gown.

Becoming A Comedienne Was My Way Of Adjusting To Puberty.

My Plastic Surgeon ... Said My Face Looked Like A Bouquet Of Elbows.

A Stand-up Comic Is Judged By Every Line. Singers Get Applause At The End Of Their Song No Matter How Bad They Are.