Never Go To Bed Angry, Stay Up

Your Husband Is Lazy If The Directions On His Medicine Say, "a Teaspoon Before Going To Bed," And In One Day He Uses Seven Bottles.

There's Such A Buildup Of Crud In My Oven, There's Only Room To Bake A Single Cupcake.

If It Weren't For My Adam's Apple, I'd Have No Shape At All.

Do I Believe In Witchcraft? I'm The Result Of It.

We Spend The First Twelve Months Of Our Children's Lives Teaching Them To Walk And Talk And The Next Twelve Telling Them To Sit Down And Shut Up.