Never Give A Sucker An Even Break.

If It Is A Joint Return, We Are Instructed To Print The Given Names Of Both Husband And Wife. But Since Some Of The Names That Husband And Wife Give Each Other Are Hardly Suited To Print, We Must Proceed Cautiously.

Drown In A Cold Vat Of Whiskey? Death, Where Is Thy Sting?

A Man Who's Intoxicated All The Time Doesn't Need Sympathy.

After Two Days In The Hospital, I Turn To The Nurse.

I've Been Asked If I Ever Get The Dts. I Don't Know. It's Hard To Tell Where Hollywood Ends And The Dts Begin.