Never Give A Sucker An Even Break.

I Don't Drink Anymore, On The Other Hand I Don't Drink Any Less Either.

All Englishmen Talk As If They've Got A Bushel Of Plums Stuck In Their Throats, And Then After Swallowing Them Get Constipated From The Pips.

I Never Met A Kid I Liked.

Comedy Is A Serious Business. A Serious Business With Only One Purpose--to Make People Laugh.

I Don't Object To Nine Aces In One Deck. But When A Man Lays Down Five Aces In One Hand... And Besides, I Know What I Dealt Him!