My Wife Calls Our Waterbed The Dead

A Man Is Hit By A Car While Crossing A Beverly Hills Street. A Woman Rushes To Him And Cradles His Head In Her Lap, Asking, Are You Comfortable? The Man Answers, I Make A Nice Living.

Talk About Cheap - On Christmas Eve, My Neighbour Shoots Off Three Blanks And Tells His Kids Santa Claus Just Committed Suicide.

You Look Like A Normal Person, If You Can Find A Normal Person Who Wants To Look Like That.

My Wife And I Have A Perfect Understanding. I Don't Try To Run Her Life, And I Don't Try To Run Mine.

I Take New Years With A Grain Of Salt And Three Aspirins.