My Wife Calls Our Waterbed The Dead

If Opportunity Doesn't Knock, Build A Door.

We Inherit A Lot From Our Parents: Mom's Eyes, Dad's Chin, And The Attitude Of Whichever Parent Isn't Punishing You At The Moment. All Of Those Things We Have Our Mom's To Thank For."if Evolution Really Works, How Come Mothers Only Have Two Hands?"

My Wife Sent Me A Valentine Card That Said, "take My Heart, Take My Lips, Take My Soul." That's Just Like Her. She Kept The Good Parts For Herself.

Why Are We Honoring This Man? Have We Run Out Of Human Beings?

Our Local Department Store Had Two Santas - One For Regular Kids And One For Kids Who Wanted Ten Toys Or Less.