My Uncle Was The Town Drunk -

If You Build A Better Mousetrap, You Will Catch Better Mice.

Never Put Off Until Tomorrow What You Can Do Today -- For Tomorrow's Gonna Be Bad Enough As It Is.

Did You Ever Get The Feeling That The World Was A Tuxedo And You Were A Pair Of Brown Shoes?

I've Never Been Drunk, But Often I've Been Overserved.

College Is A Place To Keep Warm Between High School And An Early Marriage.