My Mother Was Like A Sister To

I Thought I Was Raptured Up Into The Air Today; Turns Out, It Was Just My Gas Oven Exploding.

Isn't This A Wonderful Country? I Was In Florida. I'm Staying At A Motel Called The Three Palms. It's Run By A Middle-aged Couple, One Of Whom Is Missing A Hand. Ok! That's What I Thought, Too! But They Got Upset When I Asked.

I Find You Can Often Find Humor Just By Turning Something Upside-down. Like A... Small Child.

My Girlfriend Told Me That She Was Seeing Another Man. I Told Her To Rub Her Eyes.

I Caught My Wife In Bed With Another Man And I Was Crushed. So I Said, "get Off Of Me, You Two!"