My House Used To Be Haunted, But

My Mother-in-law Had A Pain Beneath Her Left Breast. Turned Out To Be A Trick Knee.

The Only Time I Ever Enjoyed Ironing Was The Day I Accidentally Got Gin In The Steam Iron.

When I Go To The Beach, My Grandchildren Try To Make Words Out Of The Veins In My Legs. That's Why I Still Take The Pill; I Don't Want Any More Grandchildren.

When He Proposed He Said, "we'll Make Such Beautiful Music Together," But In This Duet, His Part Seems To Be All Rests.

If It Weren't For My Adam's Apple, I'd Have No Shape At All.