My Goal Is To Work. That's The

I Don't Think I Was Awake For Much Of My Childhood. I Did A Lot Of Napping. This Might Have Been A Defensive Measure Against Encroaching Depression. Until About The Age Of Eleven Or Twelve, I Had Zero Interests Other Than Trying To Steal Gumballs From Supermarket Gumball Machines.

All My Friends Were Girls. Then My Mom's Strident Feminism For Years Where Men Were Thought Of As The Enemy, I Just Didn't Know What The Right Way To Be A Man Was.

I Don't Necessarily Self-identify As A Writer, 'cause It Implies A Certain Level Of Intelligence.

Whatever Expectations I Had For Myself, None Of Them Have Come To Pass. I Grew Up Thinking I Was Going To Be An Actor, Which I Am. But I Thought I'd Be A Very Serious Sort Of Shakespearean Guy Going From Town To Town Having Sex With Various Juliets All Over The Country.

So My Reaction To Hearing This Corny-ass, Horrible Song ["with Arms Wide Open" By Creed] Is Violent, Uncontrollable, Sustained Weeping.