My Dog Learned How To Beg By

I Tell Ya When I Fly, I Don't Get No Respect. I Took One Of Those Cheap Flights, No Frills. I Finished Eatin' And Had To Do The Dishes.

I Knew A Girl So Ugly, They Use Her In Prisons To Cure Sex Offenders.

Boy Is My Wife Stupid. It Takes Her And Hour And A Half To Watch 60 Minutes. My Daughters No Bargain Either. In Public School She Was Voted Most Likely To Conceive.

I Told My Wife The Truth. I Told Her I Was Seeing A Psychiatrist. Then She Told Me The Truth: That She Was Seeing A Psychiatrist, Two Plumbers, And A Bartender.

I Tell Ya, I Know The Best Way To Get Girls. I Hang Out At Women's Prisons, And Wait For Parolees.