My Body's In Such Bad Shape I

Absolutely Nothing Was Happening In My Marriage. I Nicknamed My Waterbed, Lake Placid!

I Wanted To Become Me, Totally Me. The More Me, The Better. I Instinctively Knew This And I Was Right.

My Body's In Such Bad Shape I Wear Prescription Underwear.

I've Tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, T'ai Chi, Feng Shui And Deepak Chopra But I Find Straight Gin Works Best.

I'll Never Forget My First Fur. It Was A Modest Little Stole. Modest? People Thought I Was Wearing Anchovies.