Moving On Is A Gift You Give

You're College Graduates Now, So Use Your Education. Remember: It's Not Who You Know, It's Whom.

You’re Going To Get What I Think Is The Truth, And It’s Going To Be Raw.

Comedy Is A Very Rough Beat. It's No Holds Barred, As It Should Be.

I Caused My Husband's Heart Attack. In The Middle Of Lovemaking I Took The Paper Bag Off My Head. He Dropped The Polaroid And Keeled Over And So Did The Hooker. It Would Have Taken Me Half An Hour To Untie Myself And Call The Paramedics, But Fortunately The Great Dane Could Dial.

I Think It Was Cosby Who Also Said To Me, 'if Only 2 Percent Of The World Thinks You're Funny, You'll Still Fill Stadiums For The Rest Of Your Life.'