Last Year My Birthday Cake Looked Like

I'm At An Age Where I Think More About Food Than I Do About Sex. Last Week I Put A Mirror Over My Dining Room Table.

I Once Went Out With This Wild Girl. She Made French Toast And Got Her Tongue Caught In The Toaster.

My Wifes Cooking Is So Bad The Flys Fix Our Screens

My Wife Is So Fat That The Last Time I Saw Something That Big It Was Grazing.

My Psychiatrist Told Me I Was Crazy And I Said I Want A Second Opinion. He Said Okay, You're Ugly Too.