I've Been Writing Jokes Since I'm Fifteen.

With My Old Man I Got No Respect. When He Took Me Hunting He Gave Me A Three Minute Head Start. Then On The Way Home He Tied Me To The Fender And Put The Deer In The Car.

When I Was A Kid We Were So Poor, If I Hadn't Been A Boy I Wouldn't Have Had Anything To Play With.

I'm A Bad Lover. Once I Caught A Peeping Tom Booing Me.

My Wife She's Fat. Why, If She Lost A Few Pounds, She'd Be Perfectly Round.

I Don't Care How Rich And Successful A Man Is. He's Nothing Without An Education.