I Looked Up My Family Tree And

I Walked In On My Wife And The Milkman, The First Thing She Says Is "don't Tell The Butcher"!

I Got My First Break And Became A Singing Waiter At Eighteen Or Nineteen. I Couldn't Make A Living At It. I Quit. Then I Got Married And Sold Aluminum Siding. My Wife Had Problems Physically. It Was Not Good.

I Tell Ya, My Wife, We Get Along Good Cause We Have Our Own Arrangement. I Mean, One Night A Week I Go Out With The Boys And One Night A Week, She Goes Out With The Boys.

I Knew A Girl So Ugly, They Use Her In Prisons To Cure Sex Offenders.

I Don't Care How Rich And Successful A Man Is. He's Nothing Without An Education.