I Looked Up My Family Tree And

Man, Who Don't Like Spaghetti?

I Tell Ya, Sex Is Getting Harder All The Time. Me And My Wife Were Trying To Have Sex For Hours Last Night And I Finally Gave Up. I Asked Her, "what, You Can't Think Of Anybody Either?"

One Year They Asked Me To Be Poster Boy - For Birth Control.

I Tell Ya, I Knew My Morning Wasn't Going Right. When I Put On My Shirt The Button Fell Off, When I Picked Up My Briefcase, The Handle Fell Off, I Tell Ya, I Was Afraid To Go To The Bathroom.

I Knew A Girl So Ugly That She Was Known As A Two-bagger. That's When You Put A Bag Over Your Head In Case The Bag Over Her Head Breaks.