I've Been On The Whisky Diet -

I Went Into A French Restaraunt And Asked The Waiter, 'have You Got Frog's Legs?' He Said, 'yes,' So I Said, 'well Hop Into The Kitchen And Get Me A Cheese Sandwich.'

I Cleaned The Attic With The Wife The Other Day. Now I Can't Get The Cobwebs Out Of Her Hair.

So A Lorry-load Of Tortoises Crashed Into A Train-load Of Terrapins, I Thought "that's A Turtle Disaster".

I Backed Horse Last Week At Ten To One. It Came In At Quarter Past Four.

Went To The Paper Shop - It Had Blown Away.