I've Been On The Whisky Diet -

Now You Know Those Trick Candles That You Blow Out And A Couple Of Seconds Later They Come Alight Again, Well The Other Day There Was A Fire At The Factory That Makes Them.

Two Peanuts Walk Into A Rather Rough Bar, Not Looking For Any Trouble. Unfortunately, One Was A Salted.

A Man Walked Into The Doctor's, The Doctor Said 'i Haven't Seen You In A Long Time' The Man Replied, 'i Know I've Been Ill'.

My Wife Had A Go At Me Last Night. She Said, Youll Drive Me To My Grave. I Had The Car Out In Thirty Seconds.

I Inherited A Painting And A Violin Which Turned Out To Be A Rembrandt And A Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt Made Lousy Violins And Stradivarius Was A Terrible Painter.