I Inherited A Painting And A Violin

A Dyslexic Man Walks Into A Bra.

So I Rang Up A Local Building Firm, I Said 'i Want A Skip Outside My House.' He Said 'i'm Not Stopping You.'

So I Knocked On The Door At This Bed & Breakfast And A Lady Stuck Her Head Out Of The Window And Said: 'what Do You Want', I Said, 'i Want To Stay Here'. She Said, 'well Stay There' And Shut The Window.

I Inherited A Painting And A Violin Which Turned Out To Be A Rembrandt And A Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt Made Lousy Violins And Stradivarius Was A Terrible Painter.

I Went To Buy Some Camouflage Trousers The Other Day But I Couldn’t Find Any.