So I Was In Tesco's And I

Well, My Wife And I Were Married In A Toilet - It Was A Marriage Of Convenience!

Went To The Corner Shop - Bought 4 Corners.

A Blind Bloke Walks Into A Shop With A Guide Dog. He Picks The Dog Up And Starts Swinging It Around His Head. Alarmed, A Shop Assistant Calls Out: 'can I Help, Sir?' 'no Thanks,' Says The Blind Bloke. 'just Looking.'

So I Went To The Chinese Restaurant And This Duck Came Up To Me With A Red Rose And Says "your Eyes Sparkle Like Diamonds". I Said "waiter, I Asked For A-romatic Duck".

I've Been On The Whisky Diet - I've Already Lost Three Days!