I've Always Liked Cops, As Much As

I'm Pretty Careful About The Things I Say Ahead Of Time. I'm Thoughtful About Not Going Too Far. The Only Thing You Can Do Occasionally Is Be Too Much.

Last Time I Was In Canada Celine Dion Had Just Given Birth To Identical Twins. Which Is Quite An Achievement Given Her Age And Face.

The Real Question Is How Do You Stay Funny In Your 70s And 80s? And That's A Real Accomplishment, You Know, The Longevity.

When I See A Good Singer, I Get Teary-eyed. Part Of It Is Jealousy Because All Comedians Are Frustrated Rock Stars. That's A Fact.

I've Actually Tried To Roast Somebody That I Don't Like, And It Doesn't Go Well. Either They're A Bad Sport Or I'm Not As Funny As I Could Be.