I Like To Roast Things From The

Before You Can Be All Deprecating It's Helpful To Be Self-deprecating.

Do You Want Me To Apologize After Every Joke? If It Doesn't Offend Somebody It's Probably Not A Joke. It's Probably An Observation That's Not Funny. It's Gotta Offend Somebody Somewhere.

When I See A Good Singer, I Get Teary-eyed. Part Of It Is Jealousy Because All Comedians Are Frustrated Rock Stars. That's A Fact.

The Real Question Is How Do You Stay Funny In Your 70s And 80s? And That's A Real Accomplishment, You Know, The Longevity.

Comedy Comes From Pain, And No One Knows That Better Than This Woman Roseanne Barr—who Was Molested As A Child. Uch. That Poor Molester. Roseanne Never Got Over It. She Felt Violated. She Had Trust Issues. She Never Got The Candy He Promised Her.