It's Smart To Marry Your Yoga Teacher

My Father Once Told Me, And It's Stuck With Me To This Day: As You Walk Through Life, Every Time You Fart It Pushes You Forward.

My Haircutter Figured Out I Whine Less If I'm Under General Anesthesia. I Just Hope When I Awaken They Haven't Given Me A Brazilian Wax.

The Favorite Method Of Vice Is To Diss All Responsibility Be Work Or Social, Go Off By Myself, And Enjoy A Good Steak And A Great Glass Of Wine. Oh Yeah, And My Kids Are There Too.

Met A Girl The Other Nite And Told Her- Before You Can Be With Someone You Have To Know The Value Of Yourself. So Does $200 Seem Reasonable?

And Turkeys Are A Bird. A Very Nervous Bird. You'd Be Nervous Too If You Knew That One Day You'd Get Your Head Cut Off And... Filled With Stuffing.