My Wife Is A Saint. She's Gandhi.

A Lot Of The Comedians Don't Even Tell The Joke. Like Only Three Tell The Joke, The Rest Of Them Dissect It.

If You're Hanging Out With Two Negative People, Do They Equal One Positive Person?

I Don't Like To Drink Alone 'cause There's Nobody To Fight With.

The Greatness Of A Man Is Only Measured By His Urologist.

My Dad's Like, If Your Mom And I Are Having Sex And We Videotape It And She Falls Out Of Bed Funny, Can I Win Ten-thousand Dollars?