It's One Of The Tragic Ironies Of

Television Could Perform A Great Service In Mass Education, But There's No Indication Its Sponsors Have Anything Like This On Their Minds.

Whatever You Have Read I Have Said Is Almost Certainly Untrue, Except If It Is Funny, In Which Case I Definitely Said It.

If I Were Well Behaved, I'd Die Of Boredom.

I'd Rather Be Strongly Wrong Than Weakly Right.

I Have Been Tight As A Tick! Fried As A Mink! Stiff As A Goat!