I'm Not Childless, Darling. I Am Childfree.

They Used To Photograph Shirley Temple Through Gauze. They Should Photograph Me Through Linoleum.

Wracked With A Hangover I Do My Muttering Over A Black Velvet, A Union Of Champagne And Stout. Don't Be Swindled Into Believing There's Any Cure For A Hangover. I've Tried Them All: Iced Tomatoes, Hot Clam Juice, Brandy Peaches. Like The Common Cold It Defies Solution. Time Alone Can Stay It. The Hair Of The Dog? That Way Lies Folly. It's As Logical As Trying To Put Out A Fire With Applications Of Kerosene.

If I Were Well Behaved, I'd Die Of Boredom.

Fill What Is Empty, Empty What Is Full, And Scratch Where It Itches.

They Aren't Making Mirrors Like They Use To.