I'm The Foe Of Moderation, The Champion

I've Had A Man And I've Had A Woman, And There's Got To Be Something Better.

I Did What I Could To Inflate The Rumor I Was On My Way To Stardom. What I Was On My Way To, By Any Mathematical Standards Known To Man, Was Oblivion, By Way Of Obscurity.

It's Unlikely I'll Ever Submit To A Psychiatrist's Couch. I Don't Want Some Stranger Prowling Around Through My Psyche, Monkeying With My Id. I Don't Need An Analyst To Tell Me That I Have Never Had Any Sense Of Security. Who Has?

I've Tried Several Varieties Of Sex. The Conventional Position Makes Me Claustrophobic, And The Others Either Give Me A Stiff Neck Or Lockjaw.

It's The Good Girls Who Keep Diaries; The Bad Girls Never Have The Time.