If I Were Well Behaved, I'd Die

[to The Critic Who Wrote A Negative Review:] I Am Sitting In The Smallest Room Of The House. Your Review Is Before Me. Soon It Will Be Behind Me.

No Man Worth His Salt, No Man Of Spirit And Spine, No Man For Whom I Could Have Any Respect, Could Rejoice In The Identification Of Tallulah's Husband. It's Tough Enough To Be Bogged Down In A Legend. It Would Be Even Tougher To Marry One.

Here's A Rule I Recommend: Never Practice Two Vices At Once.

Don't Be Taken In By The Guff That Critics Are Killing The Theater. Commonly They Sin On The Side Of Enthusiasm. Too Often They Give Their Blessing To Trash.

I've Had A Man And I've Had A Woman, And There's Got To Be Something Better.