I'm On A Whisky Diet. I've Lost

I Always Sit In The Tail End Of A Plane, Always. You Never Hear Of An Plane Backing Into A Mountain.

A Man Goes To A Fancy Dress Party Dressed Only In His Y-fronts. A Woman Comes Up To Him And Says "what Are You Supposed To Be?" The Man Says "a Premature Ejaculation." "what?" Says The Woman. The Man Explains "i've Just Come In My Pants."

I Went Window Shopping Today! I Bought Four Windows.

A Policeman Stopped Me And Said: Would You Please Blow Into This Bag, Sir? I Said: What For, Officer? He Said: My Chips Are Too Hot.

He Said 'i'm Going To Chop Off The Bottom Of One Of Your Trouser Legs And Put It In A Library. I Thought, "that's A Turn-up For The Books".