I'm On A Whisky Diet. I've Lost

A Man Walks Into A Bar, And He Said Ouch, Cause It Was An Iron Bar.

So A Lorry-load Of Tortoises Crashed Into A Train-load Of Terrapins, I Thought "that's A Turtle Disaster".

I Had A Ploughman's Lunch The Other Day. He Wasn't Very Happy.

I'm On A Whisky Diet. I've Lost 3 Days Already.

A Jump Lead Walks Into A Bar. The Barman Says "i'll Serve You, But Don't Start Anything."