I'm On A Whisky Diet. I've Lost

I Always Sit In The Tail End Of A Plane, Always. You Never Hear Of An Plane Backing Into A Mountain.

Man Went Into A Bar, He Only Had One Arm. Guy Sitting Next To Him Said 'hey, You've Got Your Sleeve In My Drink', Man Replied, 'there's No Arm In It'

Deja Moo: The Feeling That You've Heard This Bullshit Before.

And The Back Of His Anorak Was Leaping Up And Down, And People Were Chucking Money To Him. I Said 'do You Earn A Living Doing That?' He Said 'yes, This My Livelihood.'

So I Knocked On The Door At This Bed & Breakfast And A Lady Stuck Her Head Out Of The Window And Said: 'what Do You Want', I Said, 'i Want To Stay Here'. She Said, 'well Stay There' And Shut The Window.