I'm Not Really A Music Guy.

I'm A Stand-up Comic. Anything Else I Do Besides That Is A Plus, But Stand-up Comedy Is What I Do, It's What I've Been Doing And It's What I'm Going To Keep Doing.

I Masturbate! I Do It Like I Think If I Keep Doing It, I'm Gonna Win Something.

Why Do They Collect Garbarge At 5am? Why? It's Garbage. It's Not Going To Go Bad Again.

I Don't Think I'm A Star Or A Celebrity Or Any Thing Like That.

For A Long Time The People At My Shows Were Sort Of The Pantera-tattoo Trucker Guys, Really Cool Dudes, But I Don't Know What Happened To Them. That's The Crowd That I Like, The Ones That Don't Get So Offended Just To Be Offended.