I'm Not An Athiest. How Can You

Once Again Decent Citizens Will Be Able To Enter This House Of Worship, Kneel Down In Front Of A Nearly-naked Man Hanging From A Wooden Apparatus By A Series Of Gruesome Body Piercings, And Engage In Their Bizarre Practices Of Ritualized Blood-drinking And Cannibalism Without Being Assaulted By Graphic Images Of Attractive Young Women With Bare Breasts.

Saint George Killed The Last Dragon, And He Was Called A Hero For It. I've Never Seen A Dragon, And I Wish He Would Have Left At Least One. Saint Patrick Made A Name For Himself By Running The Snakes Out Of Ireland, Leaving The Place Vulnerable To Rodent Infestation. This Business Of Making Saints Out Of Men Who Exterminate Their Fellow Creatures Has Got To Stop. All I'm Saying Is, It's Starting To Get A Little Lonely Up Here At The Top Of The Food Chain.

Our Bombs Are Smarter Than The Average High School Student. At Least They Can Find Kuwait.

I Am Not A Vegetarian Because I Love Animals; I Am A Vegetarian Because I Hate Plants.

I Am As Frustrated With Society As A Pyromaniac In A Petrified Forest.