That Is The Saving Grace Of Humor,

I Think It's Time To Stop Carping On The Blunders Of The President And Give Him Some Credit For Creativity. I Mean, Where Do You Even Find A Jewish Hard-line Conservative Republican Pot-smoker? Sounds Like An Oprah Winfrey Guest.

I Am As Frustrated With Society As A Pyromaniac In A Petrified Forest.

Saint George Killed The Last Dragon, And He Was Called A Hero For It. I've Never Seen A Dragon, And I Wish He Would Have Left At Least One. Saint Patrick Made A Name For Himself By Running The Snakes Out Of Ireland, Leaving The Place Vulnerable To Rodent Infestation. This Business Of Making Saints Out Of Men Who Exterminate Their Fellow Creatures Has Got To Stop. All I'm Saying Is, It's Starting To Get A Little Lonely Up Here At The Top Of The Food Chain.

I Am Not A Vegetarian Because I Love Animals; I Am A Vegetarian Because I Hate Plants.

Once Again Decent Citizens Will Be Able To Enter This House Of Worship, Kneel Down In Front Of A Nearly-naked Man Hanging From A Wooden Apparatus By A Series Of Gruesome Body Piercings, And Engage In Their Bizarre Practices Of Ritualized Blood-drinking And Cannibalism Without Being Assaulted By Graphic Images Of Attractive Young Women With Bare Breasts.