I'm An Ice Sculptor. Last Night I

So, I Sit At The Hotel At Night And I Think Of Something That's Funny. Or, If The Pen Is Too Far Away, I Have To Convince Myself That What I Thought Of Wasn't Funny.

If I Was A Locksmith, I'd Be Pimping That Out Man. I'll Trade You A Free Key Duplication For. That Joke Made Me Laugh Before I Could Finish It, Which Is Good, Because It Had No Ending.

I Bought A Seven-dollar Pen Because I Always Lose Pens And I Got Sick Of Not Caring.

I Have No Problem Not Listening To The Temptations.

Rice Is Great If You're Really Hungry And Want To Eat Two Thousand Of Something.