I Bought A Seven-dollar Pen Because I

I Used To Do Drugs. I Still Do Drugs. But I Used To, Too.

I Was Going To Get My Teeth Whitened, But I Said, "i'll Just Get A Tan Instead."

I Would Like It If Four People Did A Cartwheel All At Once... So I Can Make A Cart.

I’d Like To See A Forklift Lift A Crate Of Forks. It’d Be So Damn Literal! You Are Using That Machine To It’s Exact Purpose!

I Would Imagine That If You Could Understand Morse Code, A Tap Dancer Would Drive You Crazy.