I Have No Problem Not Listening To

I Think A Rotisserie Is Like A Really Morbid Ferris Wheel For Chickens. It’s A Strange Piece Of Machinery . . . We Will Take The Chicken, Kill It, Impale It, And Then Rotate It. And I’ll Be Damned If I’m Not Hungry! Because Spinning Chicken Carcasses Make My Mouth Water! I Like Dizzy Chicken. With A Side Of Potatoes Of Some Sort.

I Had To Take A Physical To Do This Show. They Had A Lot Of Weird Questions Like, "have You Ever Tried Sugar Or Pcp?"

It's Very Dangerous To Wave To People You Don't Know Because What If They Don't Have Hands? They'll Think You're Cocky.

A Minibar Is A Machine That Makes Everything Expensive. When I Take Something Out Of The Minibar, I Always Fathom That I'll Go And Replace It Before They Check It Off, But They Make That Stuff Impossible To Replace. I Go To The Store And Ask, 'do You Have Coke In A Glass Harmonica ...do You Have Individually Wrapped Cashews'

I Went To A Cigar Store, The Man Behind The Counter Asked Me, "what Kind Of Cigars Do You Like?" I Answered, "it's A Boys."