I Have A Sharpie. I Love Sharpies.

What Am I Drinking? Nyquil On The Rocks, For When You're Feeling Sick But Sociable.

I Was At This Casino Minding My Own Business, And This Guy Came Up To Me And Said, 'you're Gonna Have To Move, You're Blocking A Fire Exit.' As Though If There Was A Fire, I Wasn't Gonna Run. If You're Flammible And Have Legs, You Are Never Blocking A Fire Exit.

Every Time I Go And Shave, I Assume There's Someone Else On The Planet Shaving. So I Say, 'i'm Gonna Go Shave, Too.'

I Like Refried Beans. That's Why I Wanna Try Fried Beans, Because Maybe They're Just As Good And We're Just Wasting Time. You Don't Have To Fry Them Again After All.

I Went To The Park And Saw This Kid Flying A Kite. The Kid Was Really Excited. I Don't Know Why, That's What They're Supposed To Do. Now If He Had Had A Chair On The Other End Of That String, I Would Have Been Impressed.