I'll Tell 'ya How To Stay Young:

Kissing Is Like Drinking Tea With A Tea Strainer, You Can Never Get Enough.

Golf Is My Profession Show Business Is Just To Pay The Green Fees.

Jimmy Stewart Could Have Been A Good Golfer, But He Speaks So Slowly That By The Time He Yells 'fore!' The Guy He's Hit Is Already In An Ambulance On The Way To The Hospital.

Golf's Really Fun In Japan Because Of The Women Caddies. ... I Saw One Guy Start Out Playing Alone With His Caddie. By The 9th Hole They Were Engaged And When They Finished On 18 They Had A Foursome.

Golf Is My Real Profession. Entertainment Is Just A Sideline. I Tell Jokes To Pay My Greens Fees.