If You Can't Say Anything Good About

You Can't Make Souffle Rise Twice.

My Father Always Wanted To Be The Corpse At Every Funeral, The Bride At Every Wedding And The Baby At Every Christening.

My Specialty Is Detached Malevolence.

I Valued My Independence From An Early Age And Was Always Something Of A Individualist … Well, A Show-off Anyway.

I Live By Three Rules: I Eat When I'm Hungry, Sleep When I'm Tired And Scratch When I Itch.