I'd Rather Entertain People Than Offend Them.

I Guess My Main Influences Are Jesus, Rock N Roll And Ex-wives. In That Order.

There's No Happy Ending To Cocaine. You Either Die, You Go To Jail, Or Else You Run Out.

If I Get Married Again, I Want A Guy There With A Drum To Do Rimshots During The Vows.

I Called A Detox Center - Just To See How Much It Would Cost: $13,000 For Three Weeks! My Friends, If You Can Come Up With Thirteen Grand, You Don't Have A Problem Yet.

I Want To Show People That There's A Side Of Myself Other Than Just The Outrageous Comedian.