I'd Like A Nice Piece Of Salmon

Jon Lovitz. Jon, Your Act Is Like Masturbation: You're The Only One Who Enjoys It, And You Should Be Arrested For Doing It In Public.

If Someone Sprays Windex In Your Food It Can Give You Diarrhea. But Once You Wipe It Off Your Windows, You're Fine.

Today Is A Brand New Day. A Day Of Change, Of Promise, Of Creativity, Of Kindness, And Of Love. I'm Going Back To Bed.

Kindness Isn't Just A Virtue, Its A Necessity.

Concerned We're In A Time Where Politicians Can't Even Fake Sincerity. Aren't They Supposed To Be Good At That?