I Want No Epitaphs Of Profound History

Resignations Are For Prime Ministers And Those Caught With Their Trousers Down, Not For Me.

Being Thick Isn't An Affliction If You're A Footballer, Because Your Brains Need To Be In Your Feet. And Beckham Works Hard, He's Brave And He Crosses A Ball Superbly. He Treats A Football Like He Does A Wife, Lovingly, With Caresses.

You Don't Want Roast Beef And Yorkshire Every Night And Twice On Sunday.

The Ugliest Player I Ever Signed Was Kenny Burns.

The River Trent Is Lovely, I Know Because I Have Walked On It For 18 Years.