I Thought I Was Funny As A

How Do You Conduct An Intimate Relationship Where No One Ever Loses It? Where No One Ever Lashes Out, Where No One Ever Smacks Anyone In The Mouth?

When I Got Married, The Sun Ran The Headline: "here Comes The Bride, All Fat And Wide." Luckily, It Was A Few Days After The Wedding - But It Was Still Hideous To Read At A Great Romantic Moment.

I Often Tell Audiences At The Start Of My Shows That I'm Not Gay Because I've Got Petitions From Lesbian Groups Saying 'can You Tell People You're Heterosexual Because You're Giving Us A Bad Name.'

Let's Face It: I Am Not A Professional Runner.

I Look Like Julian Clary On Steroids.