Let's Face It: I Am Not A

If You Want To Get A Pet For Your Child, I Suggest A Chicken So That When They Get Bored Of It After A Couple Of Days At Least You Can Have A Nice Roast Dinner.

If You're A Fat Person - And Especially If You're A Woman - At All Stages Of Your Life You'll Get Abuse For It, So You Have To Work Out A Way Of Dealing With It. The Best Way Is To Be Humorous About It - That Defuses Any Tension.

Fat People Are Brilliant In Bed. If I'm Sitting On Top Of You, Who's Going To Argue?

My Dad's A Very Sensitive Man, But As The Archetypal Rebellious Teenager, I Didn't Realise That.

You Don't Really See Ugly People That Are Old, Or A Bit Grotty And Smelly, In The Media. If A Martian Came Down, They Would Think We Were All Tall, Thin, Attractive And Wealthy.