I Tell Jokes To Pay My Green

Golf Is A Hard Game To Figure. One Day You Will Go Out And Slice It And Shank It, Hit Into All The Traps And Miss Every Green. The Next Day You Go Out And, For No Reason At All, You Really Stink.

At The Academy Award Dinners All The Actors And Actresses In Hollywood Gather Around To See What Someone Else Thinks About Their Acting Besides Their Press Agents.

If They Liked You, They Didn't Applaud -- They Let You Live.

A Few Years Ago He Had A Big Heart Transplant In Chicago, A Five-hour Operation. It Took The Doctors Four Hours To Get Him On The Operating Table.

I Like A President Who Tells Jokes Instead Of Appointing Them.