I Never Watch The Dinah Shore Show-

You Can't Possibly Hear The Last Movement Of Beethoven's Seventh And Go Slow. (oscar Trying To Talk His Way Out Of A Speeding Ticket)

I Don't Like To Play The Piano. It Makes Me Too Attractive.

I'm A Self-made Man. Who Else Would Help?

I'm A Concert Pianist, That's A Pretentious Way Of Saying I'm Unemployed At The Moment.

I Played An Unsympathetic Part -- Myself.