I Never Met A Kid I Liked.

I Can Do Anything I Want To Do!

Hollywood Is The Gold Cap On A Tooth That Should Have Been Pulled Out Years Ago.

I Could Juggle Anything In My Day. Balls, Cigar Boxes, Knives...but There Was One Thing I Could Never Juggle. My Income Tax.

A Comic Should Suffer As Much Over A Single Line As A Man With A Hernia Would In Picking Up A Heavy Barbell.

Sleep! The Most Beautiful Experience In Life. Except Drink.