I May Not Be The Bestest Pitcher

I Don't Know How Old I Am Because A Goat Ate The Bible That Had My Birth Certificate In It. The Goat Lived To Be Twenty-seven.

Don't Eat Fried Food, It Angries Up The Blood.

I Got A Curve So Sneaky It Might Be Your Daddy.

Smile Well And Often, It Makes People Wonder What You've Been Up To.

Avoid Running At All Times.