I Like Parties, But I Don't Like

I Wanna See A Snake Eat Spaghetti.

I Think One Of The Most Groundbreaking Inventions Of All Time Is The Jackhammer.

A Lifevest Protects You From Drowning And A Bulletproof Vest Protects You From Getting Shot, And A Sweater Vest Protects You From Pretty Girls.

A Pipe Is Greater Than A Bong. Because When You're Smoking A Pipe At Least It Makes You Look Like You're Thinking About Something.

I Wrapped My Christmas Presents Early This Year, But I Used The Wrong Paper. See, The Paper I Used Said 'happy Birthday' On It. I Didn't Want To Waste It So I Just Wrote 'jesus' On It.