I Know I'm Not Sexy. In High

I Told My Doctor, "i've Swallowed A Bottle Of Sleeping Pills" And He Told Me To Have A Few Drinks And Get Some Rest.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. I Played Hide-and-seek. They Wouldn't Even Look For Me.

She Was So Ugly That Her Face Could Stop A Sundial.

Last Year My Birthday Cake Looked Like A Prairie Fire.

My Wife Met Me At The Door The Other Night In A Sexy Negligee. Unfortunately, She Was Just Coming Home.