I Have Some Speakers Up Here, Thank

I've Never Been To A Hotel With A Rotating Restaurant On Top, But One Time I Took My Girlfriend To A Merry-go-round, And I Gave Her A Burrito.

I Played In A Death-metal Band. People Either Loved Us Or Hated Us. Or They Thought We Were Ok.

People Associate Long Hair With Drug Use. I Wish People Associated Long Hair With Something Other Than Drug Use, Like An Extreme Longing For Cake. And Then Strangers Would See A Long Haired Guy And Say, "that Guy Eats Cake!" "he Is On Bundt Cake!" Mothers Saying To Their Daughters, "don't Bring The Cake Eater Over Here Anymore. He Smells Like Flour. Did You See How Excited He Got When He Found Out Your Birthday Was Fast Approaching?"

Y'know, You Can't Please All The People All The Time... And Last Night, All Those People Were At My Show.

I Have An Underwater Camera Just In Case I Crash My Car Into A River, And At The Last Minute I See A Photo Opportunity Of A Fish That I Have Never Seen.