I Got An Ant Farm; Them Fellas

I Have An Oscillating Fan At My House. It Goes Back And Forth. It Looks Like The Fan Is Saying "no." So I Like To Ask It Questions That A Fan Would Say "no" To! Do You Keep My Hair In Place? Do You Keep My Documents In Order? Do You Have 3 Settings? Liar! My Fan Lied To Me. Now I Will Pull The Pin Up. Now You're Not Saying Anything!

When I Was A Boy, I Laid In My Twin-sized Bed And Wondered Where My Brother Was.

Swiss Cheese Is A Rip-off It's The Only Cheese I Can Bite Into And Miss

I Like Vending Machines, Because Snacks Are Better When They Fall.

If I Was A Mechanic And Someone Called Me And Said Their Car Would Not Start, I Would Say, "hey - Maybe A Killer Is After You!"