I Don't Have A Bank Account Because

Gay Republicans, How Exactly Does That Work? 'we Disapprove Of Our Own Lifestyle. We Beat Ourselves Up In Parking Lots.

I Don't Like Sex ... I'm A Single Working Mom With Nine Cats, A Dog-shark, A Lizard, And A Bunny. I Don't Go To Bed, I Pass Out. The Idea That I'd Get To My Bed And There'd Be Someone In There With Whom I Was Supposed To Have An Activity Is Horrifying To Me.

I Have Jokes I've Told Before And Will Tell Again, But My Favorite Part Of The Night Is Talking To The Crowd.

The Problem With Cats Is That They Get The Exact Same Look On Their Face Whether They See A Moth Or An Axe-murderer.

I'm Really More Prolific Than Most Stand-ups. My Act Changes. I Do Fold In New Experiences, New Observations, Whatever You Want To Call It.